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Thread: Is natural death the only way out? — On the topic of death

  1. #201 How to face the end of life? Start now, authors urge — by Laura Paull 
    You’d think “the end is nigh” the way Shoshana Berger, co-author of a new book about our last days, is in demand these days. On media platforms, in bookstores and at all kinds of public venues, people are leaning in to ask the Bay Area journalist: How should we do death?

    As if death were a new phenomenon.

    One reason for all the attention is that Berger and BJ Miller’s new book, “A Beginner’s Guide to the End,” is really about living. “Practical Advice for Living Life and Facing Death” is the revealing subtitle. And the book delivers.

    “If you knew that you were going to die tomorrow, would you still be holding on to those grudges? Have you healed the old wounds with people that you love in your life?” Berger asked during a talk at the Commonwealth Club in San Francisco not long after the book was published in July.

    Were those rhetorical questions? Who among us doesn’t live with some painful accommodation to a subpar relationship? Is there a family in existence that has no wounds, no challenges, no broken links?

    Acknowledging the fact that we’re all going to die — and that time is precious — is the starting point from which healing can flow and a better quality of life can begin, the authors assert.
    How to face the end of life? Start now, authors urge — by Laura Paull

    https://www.jweekly.com/2019/08/26/h...-authors-urge/



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  2. #202 It’s Time To Stop Avoiding Death — by David Cates 
    I’ve been stunned by how thoroughly a tiny virus, barely 0.0001" across, has brought our human world screeching to a halt. In a few short months, on a global scale, it’s kicked over all the old bedrocks, nation by nation, and clearly revealed the dark, wriggly underworld hiding just out of sight.

    That sense of unease we’ve had — about governments and politicians, scientists and institutions, economies built on hope and lies, nature gasping from our poisons, societies splintering into dry tinder — all that is laid bare. And in the deafening silence of shutdown, there’s nowhere else to look. The veil’s been lifted. The world’s turned upside down. The roots are rotten.

    This is what we have become.

    Some of us still sneak out to the streets; some pull the netflix covers over their eyes. But as the days wear on, in quarantine, we’re being forced to see our lives, our jobs, our relationships, and our selves without those layers of frantic busyness and protective gauze. Exposed. Naked, squinting at the sun, unsure who we are, uncertain what to do.

    *

    I’ve been meditating lately on the vast, hidden networks of nature: the mycelium, bacteria, microbiota and yes, the viruses. The original organisms from which complex lifeforms evolved, and likely, the ones who will take over again when humans disappear from this world, adapting to eat up our plastic pollution and radioactive waste, and more immediately, to compost our physical bodies as each of us dies.

    Nature is a web, innumerable networks in constantly shifting yin/yang balance. Death is an essential element in that balance. Embracing death brings us back into harmony with the underlying game as it’s played in this world, at every scale, from insects to empires.

    Resisting death puts us at odds with the whole natural order.
    I should like to opine that this is a brilliant essay.

    It’s Time To Stop Avoiding Death — by David Cates

    https://medium.com/@kauaidavid/its-t...h-e24c4e2e2553



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  3. #203 Trail of Light — a movie about Deathwalker, Aralyn Doiron 
    This beautifully moving film features Aralyn Doiron, a delightful woman who has trained to be a Death Walker, someone who values a relationship with death and someone who values life. She suggests that it is only when we acknowledge that we are going to die one day, that we can truly start to live. The fact that many of us are separated from death is a disconnect from our humanity. She encourages having normal conversations about death, something we don't usually talk about, bringing death more into our lives in an enlivening way. Death teaches us about impermanence and about valuing what we have in the moment.
    Trail of Light — a movie about Deathwalker, Aralyn Doiron

    https://www.karmatube.org/videos.php?id=8662



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  4. #204 Rethinking the Bucket List: Kathleen Taylor at TEDxTampaBay 




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  5. #205 The Meaning of Death — A film by Ian MacKenzie 
    The Meaning of Death

    Stephen Jenkinson is a teacher, author, storyteller, spiritual activist, and founder of Orphan Wisdom, a teaching house for skills of deep living and making human culture that are mandatory in endangered, endangering times. He also headed the counselling team for Canada’s largest home-based palliative care program, working extensively with dying people and their families.

    These are his insights on death.
    The Meaning of Death — A film by Ian MacKenzie

    https://uplift.tv/2020/the-meaning-of-death/





    You have to sign up for UPLIFT TV to watch their videos but it is only an email address and their movies are absolutely worth it!
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  6. #206 5 Ways Mindfulness Can Help Us Work Through Grief — by Jennifer Wolkin 
    There’s a question I’m asked often as a psychologist: What IS grief? Psychologically speaking, as Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross wrote in 1969, grief is an emotional response to loss. This emotional response is conceptualized as a non-linear expression of different stages of feeling states including denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance (aka: “DABDA”). It’s worth noting that Kübler-Ross formulated this five-stage process to describe the emotional journey of dying people, not the bereaved. Still, since her model has become widely known, many people have found solace in it after experiencing the loss of a loved one.

    Biologically speaking, grief is a homeostatic process, a journey that our mind, brain, and body need to engage in to best recover from the trauma of a loss. This is an evolutionary need, since attachment and connection is embedded within our limbic circuitry. Yes, whether we are conscious of it or not, or like it or not, relationships deeply imprint upon our neuronal selves.


    Second, I want to note what grief is not. Grief is not, by any means, a one-size-fits-all kind of process. In fact, it is a uniquely individual process that often feels amorphous and difficult to capture with words. When it comes to grief, there is no “normal” or typical way to “do it.” Despite what some believe, in my opinion, there is no “normal” time period allotted for grief.


    It takes a boat load of self-compassion to allow oneself to feel whatever it is you are feeling at any given time, without judgment, without comparison relative to another’s explicit portrayal of their own process. In this way, to grieve is to be mindful of our thoughts and feelings.


    Grief is not, by any means, a one-size-fits-all kind of process. In fact, it is a uniquely individual process that often feels amorphous and difficult to capture with words.


    Finally, while there is no one “right” way to grieve, to actually grieve is essential for our ability to employ our human capacity to find a renewed sense of meaning. Grief elicits resilience. The capacity to continue to hold a loved one in our heart/mind while still forging forward with purpose and direction.


    Five Ways to Grieve Mindfully
    5 Ways Mindfulness Can Help Us Work Through Grief — by Jennifer Wolkin

    https://www.mindful.org/5-ways-mindf...through-grief/


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  7. #207 Sharing an Experience with Someone You’ve Lost — by Lorraine Ereira 
    The loss of a loved one from our lives is most likely the most painful experience we encounter on our journey through this world. Our heart wrenches painfully when we recall them, because we simply miss them so very much. Even as the shock of them passing begins to fade slowly over time, their absence from your life never changes. You long to share things with them again: a meal; a dance; a walk along the beach. If only there was a way to bring them back to you, even for a moment, to be with them would be more than you could ask for.

    What is it about them that you miss the most? Was it their smile? Their laugh? The silly jokes they told? Perhaps it was their voice or the way only they could understand you when no-one else could? All these things that made you love them so very much – they are the things you miss. Although their physical being was special too, it was their energy, their spirit, the essence that came from within them that you miss most of all.

    What if there was a very simple way to recall that essence? To bring that energy that you miss so terribly back to you for a little while?
    Sharing an Experience with Someone You’ve Lost — by Lorraine Ereira

    https://wakeup-world.com/2020/11/10/...ne-youve-lost/


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  8. #208 Why They Wanted to Deny She Was Buddhist in Her Eulogy — by Tinesha Renee 
    So there I was, sitting in front of the Zoom meeting, when it happened. The overwhelming grief just hit me like a freight train. And no matter how much emotional training I tried to dig into, or self-help tricks I tried to muster up, nothing could stop the train in that moment.

    The emotions flooded over me and forced me to stop and break down with the simple, plain, beautiful, and powerful truth: I miss my friend.

    I had been so busy in this new Covid world, gathering up pictures of her for her obituary, corresponding with her family about who was going to speak and what was going to be said. Emailing back and forth with the person who was graciously designing the obituary, overseeing whether the eldest members of her family even knew what a Zoom meeting was, let alone had the equipment and technological know-how to participate.

    Everything was done via email and text, and sometimes phone. I guess I didn’t realize how much this allowed me to stay disconnected and busy.

    A brief tug of war occurred when one of my friend’s other good friends mentioned how an elderly aunt, a reverend at a local community church, decided that it would be in bad taste to mention that my friend was a Buddhist.

    Even though she had grown up in a Christian home and family, she practiced Buddhism for the last thirty years.

    “Just don’t mention that part,” she said.

    I was almost insulted.
    Why They Wanted to Deny She Was Buddhist in Her Eulogy — by Tinesha Renee

    https://tinybuddha.com/blog/love-rel...in-her-eulogy/



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