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Thread: Family and Parenting

  1. #171 Musicality and Harmony Give Children Wings — by Pam Sichel 
    Pam provides a panoramic view of the ancient knowledge of the value of music before launching into her own thoughts.

    Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, fight to the imagination and life to everything. – Plato
    Modern science is beginning to recognize the profound effect of sound on the human nervous system. Researchers have discovered that specific sound frequencies, influence brain waves and chemistry by increasing dopamine and serotonin (the ‘feel-good’ hormones). Indeed, the power of sound to influence consciousness and well-being has been evident for millennia, from Gregorian chants of the Middle Ages to the shamanic drumming of indigious cultures from Siberia to South America to the impassioned voices and rhythms of Africa.

    The deeper we penetrate the mystery of sound, the more we are able to trace the link that connects all sounds — what musicians call harmony; and it is in harmony that is hidden the secret of joy and peace. – Hazrat Inayat Khan, ‘The Mysticism of Sound and Music’

    The ancients understood the power of sound and music. Pythagoras believed that each planet rang out its own note based on unique vibratory frequencies, which he called “the music of the spheres.” Plato asserted that a musical education was essential because, “More than anything else, rhythm and harmony find their way into the innermost soul and take strongest hold upon it.”
    Musicality and Harmony Give Children Wings — by Pam Sichel

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  2. #172 The Importance of Words — by Terri Knuth 
    That may seem rather benign, but when we speak mindlessly, we speak “from the past.” We speak from “recorded” parts of ourselves that just speak for us.

    It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see, from these examples, how every comment registers in a child’s mind and how vital it is that we have our attention when we speak. Children believe what they hear as truth.

    As a parent, how important do you believe it is to be aware of the choice of words that you use with your child in each and every moment?
    The Importance of Words — by Terri Knuth

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  3. #173 10 Forgotten Spiritual Truths About Raising Children — by Frank M. Wanderer Ph.D 
    In our life most of us have experienced one or two mysterious encounters, when visitors come to us from the unknown. These special guests are in fact our own children. We love them, and we are happy that they are here, but most of us do not accept them the way we should. They do not receive from us the deep respect and awe that wanderers who come from the depths of the Universe duly deserve. Instead, we look upon our children as if they were our own property, and we try to condition them to become adults we will be able to be proud of.

    Are we really good hosts for these visitors, is this really the way we should receive our guests?

    The Nature of the Conditioned Patterns of Mind

    In order to find the correct answer to the question above, we first need to know ourselves as well as possible. Since if we ourselves are ignorant of what or who we are, and what the purpose of our existence in this world is, we will only be able to use the conditioned patterns of mind inherited from our parents and teachers.
    This is one of the most lucid descriptions of those familial and cultural patterns that are unconsciously inherited. Some folks are calling them epigenetic patterns.

    10 Forgotten Spiritual Truths About Raising Children — by Frank M. Wanderer Ph.D

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  4. #174 10 Ways to Discipline Your Children — a video by Dr. Christian Conte 

    For what it's worth I really like this fellow's perspective.

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  5. #175 Parents Of Successful Kids Do These 10 Things In Common, Science Finds — by Denise H. 
    There is no such thing as a perfect parent. Parenting is hard. It takes a great deal of effort to be even a decent parent. My husband and I are raising our three children ages 6, 6, and 7.

    Yes, I have my hands full. Twin six-year-old boys and a seven-year-old girl keep me on my parenting toes, so to speak. It is not easy, but I do my best to be a good parent. Having a PhD in psychology is helpful, but I still devour plenty of parenting books and research articles to continually try to do better. I am still a work in progress just like all parents.

    It would be great if we knew exactly what to do and how to do it with our kids. But not all kids are the same and they are not born with a manual that provides us with instructions on how to raise them right. However, we do have research on parenting and psychology that can help us out and point us in the right direction.

    Below I have five tips on how to improve your parenting skills starting today! These tips are backed by research. The first step toward being a great parent is knowing how. It is difficult to be a good parent without knowing first and foremost the how and why.

    The five tips discussed are:

    1. Practice Loving without Conditions
    2. Develop a Bond That Will Last a Lifetime by Creating Memories
    3. Stop the Yelling
    4. Provide Experiences Over Toys
    5. Let Them Play and Be a Child

    Parents Of Successful Kids Do These 10 Things In Common, Science Finds
    — by Denise Hill

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  6. #176 How to Do Damage Control When You Fight in Front of Your Kids — by Dr. Laura Markham 
    Conflict is part of every human relationship. If we live with children, those conflicts will sometimes come up in front of the kids. Which raises some important questions.

    Does it hurt your child to see you and your partner fight?

    In the past, most experts reassured parents that there’s no harm in children seeing them fight, as long as the kids also see the parents make up afterwards. However, recent developments in neurological research challenge this view. Not surprisingly, it turns out that when children hear angry yelling, their stress hormones shoot up. In fact, even a sleeping infant registers loud, angry voices and experiences a rush of stress chemicals that takes some time to diminish.

    So the research confirms what any child can tell you, which is that it’s frightening when adults yell at each other. After all, parents are the child’s source of security. When parents seem out of control, the world becomes a scary place.

    This stress response can make children anxious long afterward, including making it difficult for kids to fall asleep, because the stress hormones can stay in the child’s body for hours. Since kids can’t turn to the arguing adults for comfort, they stuff their fear, and it pops out in anxiety, defiance or misbehavior.

    Maybe worst of all, when adults yell at each other, it gives children the message that when humans have disagreements, yelling is the “grown up” way to handle them.
    How to Do Damage Control When You Fight in Front of Your Kids — by Dr. Laura Markham

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  7. #177 When You and Your Child Are Stuck in a Bad Pattern — by Dr. Laura Markham 
    Sages say that raising children is one of the best paths to enlightenment because it stretches the heart and teaches us to love. And given how easily our kids can drive us crazy, it’s true that every one of us raising children has daily opportunities to grow, by digging deep in search of patience and compassion! Luckily, we’re strongly motivated by our love for our children, so we stretch.

    Sometimes, though, we get stuck. We find ourselves fighting the same battle over and over.

    Of course, it’s natural that we will have to remind our children repeatedly to do things they aren’t motivated to do. That normal childish behavior is best handled with a sense of humor. They do learn, with time and repetition, as long as they feel connected to us and therefore WANT to follow our lead.

    But what about those times when the cycle escalates? When we’re stuck in resentment, or the assumption that it’s all our child’s fault, and he should be different? It’s only human to think we should be able to make our child to change.

    But children (and adults!) naturally rebel against force, so you can’t actually control anyone except yourself. Luckily, if you change how you engage with your child, your child will change how he responds.

    That’s why change needs to start with us. We’re the adult, so it’s our job to start the peace process. Here’s how to move toward less drama and more love.
    When You and Your Child Are Stuck in a Bad Pattern — by Dr. Laura Markham

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