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Thread: Family and Parenting

  1. #191 6 Dangers of a Sheltered Childhood No One Talks About — by Sherrie Hurd 
    Childhood neglect is damaging, but we all know that. But did you know that a sheltered childhood can also be detrimental to your life as an adult?

    There are so many ways to raise your child and find balance can be difficult. However, abusive parenting like childhood neglect can leave scars that spread and infect others later in life.

    But sheltered children can also carry negative aspects into adulthood. Maybe they aren’t scar-like characteristics, but these ‘ways’ can be toxic.

    Living with helicopter parents

    So, what’s wrong with protecting and loving your child? Well, nothing. It’s when the protection and love become like a transparent bubble that there’s a problem.

    Some parents are so afraid of the world and its negative aspects, that they shelter their children in various ways. They watch the child’s every move, hence the term ‘helicopter parents’.

    Maybe parents refuse to let their children have friends or stop them from experiencing new things. Whatever it may be, these sheltered children will exhibit effects later in adulthood, and it will not be either.

    Here are a few adverse characteristics that a sheltered childhood can cause that no one really wants to admit.
    6 Dangers of a Sheltered Childhood No One Talks About — by Sherrie Hurd

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  2. #192 How Parents and Children Can Learn Emotional Skills Together — by Terri Huggins 
    You can better connect with your children and their communities by learning social-emotional skills alongside them.

    If you’ve found yourself feeling like you don’t understand your kids more and more recently, you’re not alone. According to a study by the Pew Research Center, 79% of Americans see major differences between younger kids and older adults in the way they look at the world.

    And it goes both ways. As children navigate circumstances much different from their own parent’s upbringing in areas like social media, sexuality, and workloads, it’s not uncommon for them to say they consistently feel misunderstood by their parents. This disconnection also contributes to children feeling more anxious and stressed in school, and more lonely and misunderstood overall.

    It’s a scenario that Rebecca Marsh witnessed often within her community at United Schools of Indianapolis.

    “Parents in the school would tell me that they were raised to not talk about feelings, and developing character was never discussed,” she says. Because of that, they often feel as though they are struggling to do what’s best for their children, themselves, and those around them.
    How Parents and Children Can Learn Emotional Skills Together — by Terri Huggins

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  3. #193 Five Co-Parenting Tips for Stressed-Out Dads — by Joanne Chen 
    Fathers can learn to cultivate better relationships with their children and co-parents.

    When it comes to fathers, we’re often quick to peg them as a certain “type”: the nice dad, the fun dad, the workaholic dad, the absent dad. But what if dads don’t fall into distinct buckets and instead—like moms—are just complex human beings who are trying to figure things out as a parent with varying degrees of success?

    That’s the very perspective that Family Paths, a nonprofit in Alameda County, California, has taken with a new program for fathers. Over six weeks, it provides dads in the local area—many of whom are facing numerous socioeconomic challenges—a safe space to express their thoughts and emotions, and the mental tools they need to succeed as a parent.

    For each session (currently over Zoom), the men meet to discuss a range of topics guided by the character strengths of empathy, purpose, reliability, and gratitude. Some are still young men; others are old enough to be the dads of those dads. Some voluntarily sign up; some are mandated by the court to attend. Many are no longer in a relationship with the mother of their child. The program acknowledges that dads—all dads—can benefit from some support and evolve as a parent.

    “The mix of participants is what creates a recipe for learning. It’s what makes transformation happen,” says Julianne Rositas, Family Paths family support manager/parent education. That, she says, and the facilitators, both of whom have deep experience in mental health counseling and are themselves local-area fathers who’ve undergone their own challenges and understand where the participants are coming from.

    Showing up every week for over a month may seem like a hard sell for men with complicated lives, much less taking part in role-playing and journal-keeping. And yet most participants say they wish the program could go on for longer. As one explained, the program made him feel confident about expressing his thoughts. “It helped me communicate with my son,” he said. “It also helped me release some of the anger I had toward his mother. I thought I’d come here and do the hours, but it ended up being something bigger than that.”

    Family Path’s fatherhood project gives participants the attention they deserve yet never realized they needed. It recognizes the special challenges they face as parents and the gifts they’re capable of bringing as dads. In turn, this opens them up to new strategies for raising a happy child—strategies that all parents can use, no matter what their life circumstances.

    The truth about parenting—and co-parenting
    Five Co-Parenting Tips for Stressed-Out Dads — by Joanne Chen

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  4. #194 7 Self-Compassion Reminders for Parents of Kids Who Are Struggling — by Wendy O'Leary 
    When your child is having a hard time, it can be isolating, confusing, even exhausting. One way to help both parent and child is by practicing self-kindness and grounding in the knowledge that you’re not alone.

    It can be isolating, confusing, and even exhausting when your child is having a hard time. As parents dealing with a range of our own emotions, we usually have few outlets and little time to get support.

    First, let me be clear. I am not sharing from the perspective of a mother who got it all right—feel free to check with my now-adult children on that—but as someone who has continued to learn along the way. I hope that I can offer even one takeaway you may find helpful and I fully acknowledge that hindsight is on my side here.

    And let’s be honest, right now, and maybe even always, all children are struggling in some ways. There will always be difficulties, stress, struggles. So, this article is for all of us who love and care for children of any age. What I offer here are just a few nuggets and a bit of encouragement along the way.

    1) Parenting not perfecting
    7 Self-Compassion Reminders for Parents of Kids Who Are Struggling — by Wendy O'Leary

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  5. #195 10 Things Only People Who Had Strict Parents Will Understand — by Janey Davies 
    Here’s a question for you. Did you have strict parents when you were growing up? If so, how did you react to their parenting as a child? Does it influence you now?

    Personally speaking, my parents were very strict, and at the time, I didn’t appreciate it. Now I’m an adult, there are certain things I appreciate, know, and do because of my strict upbringing.

    If you were raised in a strict household with stern disciplinarians, you’ll understand the following things too.

    10 Things You’ll Understand If You Had Strict Parents

    1. You took risks when you were a teenager

    One study from Maryland, Washington, shows that particularly strict parents (this included verbal and physical abuse) could encourage negative, risky behaviour. For example, girls became more sexually promiscuous and boys engaged in criminal activity.

    “If you’re in this harsh or unstable environment, you’re kind of set up to look for immediate rewards instead of focusing on the long-term outcomes,” Rochelle Hentges, lead author, University of Pittsburgh

    I hitched around France with my best friend when I was 17 years old with just a hundred pounds in my pocket. I was fearless in those days and took unnecessary risks because I had no freedom at home.

    2. You are a good liar
    10 Things Only People Who Had Strict Parents Will Understand — by Janey Davies

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