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Thread: Family and Parenting

  1. #151 How to Love Being with Your Kids? Dive Deeper. — by Dr. Laura Markham 
    We’re on the home stretch of our Spring-Cleaning for Your Psyche series, in which we’ve focused on taming our inner critics and becoming more mindful. Why does this matter to our children? We all know that the negative voice in our heads makes us worse parents. Learning how to manage our minds and moods helps us respond in a way that calms, rather than escalates, any situation with our child.

    True, our kid may still behave badly. But now we have a choice about how to react. Your Child’s Action + Your Reaction = the Outcome, which is the kind of child you’re raising.

    The good news is that we can all learn ways to tame our inner critics and make our minds easier to live with. We’ve been talking about those strategies for the past few weeks.

    The even better news is that there are ways to give our minds mini-vacations. Even a small amount of time with a quiet mind replenishes us, like water when we suddenly realize we’re parched. Our intuitive natures take over, allowing us to make wiser, more compassionate decisions. Scientists say that even a small daily break from our conscious minds can create physiological changes, enhancing our functioning and happiness all day long.

    Today’s strategy is Bypass your Inner Critic by Diving Deeper.
    How to Love Being with Your Kids? Dive Deeper. — by Dr. Laura Markham

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  2. #152 How Parents’ Love Helps Kids Thrive — by Maryam Abdullah 
    That moment when your baby meets your reach to pick her up and molds to your body as you hold her. When your preschooler calls out to you, emphatically pointing at the crescent moon he discovered, and you join him in looking up at the night sky. Or when your fifth grader catches your proud gaze in the audience of other parents during her elementary school graduation ceremony.

    According to emotion scientist Barbara Fredrickson, these small moments are when love happens between parents and their children.

    Her research highlights that positive emotions like love, joy, and gratitude help us grow and become better versions of ourselves. While she used to think that all positive emotions were equally helpful, she has come to realize that love might be unique.

    She now calls out love as especially beneficial for our health and growth. Apart from slowing down aging, love broadens our awareness of others’ needs and increases our feelings of social connection and oneness with others. Children who have early loving relationships with their parents grow up to be more compassionate adults.

    We interviewed Fredrickson about how love grows between parents and their children and why it is important for children’s development.
    How Parents’ Love Helps Kids Thrive — by Maryam Abdullah

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  3. #153 Listen earnestly to anything your children want to tell you... — by Catherine M. W. 
    “Listen earnestly to anything your children want to tell you, no matter what. If you don’t listen eagerly to the little stuff when they are little, they won’t tell you the big stuff when they are big, because to them all of it has always been big stuff.” – Catherine M. Wallace

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  4. #154 Mindful Parenting: Give Yourself Space to Choose to Respond — by Mitch Abblett 
    Putting space between you and your reaction allows you to respond with kindness—both to your children, and to other parents.

    In any moment as parents, we can choose to react or let it go. I’ve witnessed moments of mindfulness when parents I was working with held their tongues instead of lashing out, and when colleagues lean in toward angry parents, and distasteful situations calling for avoidance.

    Growing up, it was that moment when my Assistant Scoutmaster gave up a Saturday afternoon to sit and watch blue-jays and finches flit about the branches in the woods behind my house, and with enthusiasm and presence helped me earn my coveted “bird study” merit badge. His setting aside of his own concerns to prize what looked to be valuable in me rippled forward in such a way that I wrote to him many years later to tell him about the impact his simple act of giving had on me. “I am now a clinical psychologist working with at-risk kids,” I told him. “And you taught me a lot about what it means to help a kid hang in with something that matters.”

    When we’re not stuck in autopilot patterns of doing and behaving, we can more readily give to others, which brings its own joy.
    Mindful Parenting: Give Yourself Space to Choose to Respond — by Mitch Abblett

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  5. #155 5 Parenting Tips to Raise Your Children for Success — by Jack Canfield 
    Success is no accident, it takes hard work, perseverance, learning, studying, sacrifice and most of all, love of what you are doing or learning to do.

    For parents, success is something that children should be encouraged to achieve. However, in order for children to be successful, they must first be given the tools and habits that they need to benefit from the advice and words of wisdom from their parents.

    Here are five parenting tips that will give you the guidance that you need to help your children be more successful in their current and future endeavors and it can improve your relationship with your child.
    Number 1 is to Set Goals. Here are the rest complete with discussions of each.

    5 Parenting Tips to Raise Your Children for Success
    — by Jack Canfield

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  6. #156 “Let Come to Me the Little Children.” — by Teacher Prolotheos 
    This is one of the 11:11 Progress Group Messages but it is so specific to parenting that I felt it should be included here.

    Teacher Prolotheos: “Being a child is a necessary and important period in the development of a human being. However, it is transitory. It is not meant to stay; if a person seems to indefinitely remain a child as the years pass, you know that something is wrong. The first and most important connection of a child when it comes into the world is with its parents. In fact, adulthood entitles human beings to bear children and that may become an important factor in the very parents’ own development towards maturity. Still, God-conscious parents know that a child is given to them, and that, before it being theirs, it is a child of God. To parents and to society were given the privilege of co-operating with God’s raising of a member of God’s family, the Kingdom of God. To do this well, parents and society must pay attention to three important characteristics of human beings while they are children:
    The three important characteristics discussed are:

    • Be Aware of Their Fragility
    • Be Aware of Their Naivety
    • Be Aware of Their Potentiality

    “Let Come to Me the Little Children.” — by Teacher Prolotheos

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  7. #157 When Friends and Family Criticize Your Parenting — by Dr. Laura Markham 
    “Dr. Laura…How do I explain this kind of parenting to other parents who think I’m spoiling my child? They all use timeouts and other punishments.” – Rebecca

    Being with other families is good for both parents and children. But what happens when your parenting approaches differ?

    The stakes are high in parenting. When we’re choosing to do things differently, it’s easy to feel defensive — especially when other people question our parenting practices. After all, if you explain that your way raises emotionally healthy kids, and the other parent is raising their child differently, what does that say about them? Conflict is inevitable.

    And there’s no winning this argument. The proof of any child-raising approach will be in the pudding, and the pudding takes a long time to cook. So when someone else’s three year old hops to it at the count of three while yours is arguing and whining, it’s hard to justify your approach. Sure, you can claim your kid will be a more self-directed teenager, but where’s your proof?
    When Friends and Family Criticize Your Parenting — by Dr. Laura Markham

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  8. #158 How Sleep-Deprived Parents Can Maintain A Healthy Relationship During The Chaos Of... 
    Parents all around the world share an important piece of knowledge: When your baby comes home from the hospital, he or she will not be sleeping through the night. Nothing can prepare you for the sleep deprivation that you will experience in early parenthood; it’s quite grueling to be honest. The good news is that millions and gazillions of parents throughout time have done it before you…and SURVIVED. I promise that you will survive too!

    If you put in the work to help your baby become a good sleeper, your life and their life will be significantly improved. Remember, no one goes off to college not knowing how to sleep through the night, so there is a light at the end of the tunnel (and I promise that it happens WAY before they turn 18). My goal is not only to help you endure this sleep-deprived journey, but to also help you live as joyful and as peaceful a life as possible.

    Remember that your hard work, patience and persistence will pay off, and it will feel incredibly rewarding. Also, remind yourself that you and your partner are not the only ones going through this, and there ARE ways to help alleviate some of the stress that sleep deprivation and caring for a precious baby can put on your relationship.
    How Sleep-Deprived Parents Can Maintain A Healthy Relationship During The Chaos Of “Baby-Dome.” — by Jaime Bronstein

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  9. #159 Back to School: How to Help Your Children (and You) Form Good Habits. — by Gretchen R 
    In the United States, it’s back-to-school time. And that means getting back into the habits required by school.

    So many things to manage! Waking up on time and going to bed on time. Packing the backpack for school, with homework, permissions slips, lunch, sports clothes, etc. Doing homework. Showing up promptly throughout the day. Plus, many children have after-school activities, so there’s just that much more to remember.

    The question is: how can we help children form habits that will help them handle this load, without our constant nagging and supervising?
    Back to School: How to Help Your Children (and You) Form Good Habits. — by Gretchen Rubin

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  10. #160 How You Can Help Your Children Experience Humility — Greater Good Science Center 

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