"The chances are good that at some point in your life you had to deal with a loved one who consistently frustrated you. They were caught in a destructive pattern of behavior that made life difficult for them and everyone around them. How do you cope when this happens?

Perhaps you start avoiding them. And when thatís not possible, you choose to check out of any difficult conversation or interaction youíre having with them. You resign yourself to the belief that your loved one cannot and will not change their behavior.

Or perhaps you attempt a more active approach to the situation. You try to analyze your loved one the way a therapist might. You develop what you believe are perfect solutions for their problems and present them in the most convincing way you know how. Then you get frustrated when they reject your sage advice out of hand.

Hereís the thing: It's not about changing or fixing them; they are your parents, siblings, or partners, after allónot broken machines in need of repair. And the best thing you can do in these situations is to give your loved one the space to expand their capacity for change."

You Canít Change or Fix People, So Listen Instead
ó by Julian Stewart